


just drawn that way

by Del (goddessdel)



Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Basically happy really belated Halloween, F/M, Fluff, Halloween, Halloween Costumes, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-01
Updated: 2014-12-01
Packaged: 2018-02-27 15:57:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2698796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goddessdel/pseuds/Del
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They were supposed to head to a fancy dress party – Amy’s idea – in the 28th century. Pagan harvest festivals never lost their flare, no matter the century. Though there had been some balking at the idea that they visit an actual pagan harvest festival instead.</p>
            </blockquote>





	just drawn that way

**Author's Note:**

> Written: 8/11/14-11/23/14
> 
> Title modified from: "I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way." - Jessica Rabbit, Who Framed Roger Rabbit.
> 
> Thanks to Becs for the beta and everyone else for their encouragement!

While he was fixing the thermal couplings _again_ , River had disappeared with her parents into the wardrobe with a wink and an admonishment not to break anything. Which was ridiculous – he was fixing things. Not breaking them. Any electrical fires were merely side effects of the fixing process.

 

They were supposed to head to a fancy dress party – Amy’s idea – in the 28th century. Pagan harvest festivals never lost their flare, no matter the century. Though there had been some balking at the idea that they visit an actual pagan harvest festival instead. Apparently the pagan revelries weren’t quite up to the standards that Amy had in mind for the night.

 

Rory looked spectacularly miserable wrapped in a bulky white garment that appeared to be little more than an ill-fitting sheet. He kept tugging at it awkwardly as he shuffled into the console room. "I'm in a dress. Why am I in a dress?"

 

Amy breezed by him in a lovely Egyptian gown and headdress that looked like it belonged to Nefertiti - actually, it might have done, depending on where she'd found it in the wardrobe. "Because you refused to wear the skirt."

 

"Shendyt, Mum," River corrected blithely from somewhere just beyond the stairs.

 

Rory sighed heavily, as though this was not the first time he was reiterating his complaints to no avail. "I wasn't going out there practically starkers!"

 

"More's the pity," Amy leered blatantly, and the Doctor hurriedly looked away before anything human-y happened.

 

Rory heaved another put upon sigh and seemed about to reply - only the Doctor almost immediately forgot they were in the room as he finally caught sight of River. He couldn't even manage to cover his eyes because his limbs suddenly became quite uncooperative. For instance, he really ought to close his mouth.

 

River Song slinked down the stairs in a sparkling red gown that defied the laws of gravity to cling sinfully to her every curve. It was strapless, backless and low cut, accenting her more voluptuous assets and her tiny waist. A slit in the side went high enough that the Doctor wondered how she could possibly be wearing knickers.

 

When that thought nearly short-circuited his brain entirely, the Doctor shifted his hands as though he were the one nearly naked and forced himself to look away from all the tantalizingly bare skin so blatantly on display. She was wearing his favorite shoes - her red heels - and long, elegant purple gloves that were far more modest than the outfit they were paired with. Forcing his gaze above her shoulders was something of a Herculean feat, but the Doctor thankfully found himself distracted by her hair - dyed reddish to match Amy's and somehow formed into sleek waves cascading across her bare shoulders.

 

River sashayed right up to him, her grin positively wicked and her hand on one hip. "Well, sweetie, what do you think?"

 

Amy snorted. "If he really were a cartoon, his tongue would've fallen out of his mouth. Try not to drool, Doctor."

 

The Doctor snapped his mouth shut. And then almost immediately opened it again. "What have you done to your hair!?"

 

With a roll of her eyes and a huff, River reached around him to meddle with the wiring he'd pulled out of the console. "It's only temporary, don't have a fit." She patted her hair absently, checking that it was still in place. "Well, I might keep the color."

 

She was close enough that he could make out the individual gems of her dress. Her lips were painted the same red and her eyelids swept with purple to match her gloves. The Doctor's fingers itched to reach out and touch her - the mystery of her hair or her dress or all that skin. He spun to the console instead, which freed his hands to enter coordinates. He kept glancing at River - it was impossible not to, really. His throat was dry and he had to swallow twice before he managed to croak out, "Hello, Jessica. I suppose I get to be your rabbit, then?"

 

It came out perhaps a bit more suggestive than he'd intended, judging by Rory's coughing fit and River's smug look.

 

"Oh, any time, honey bunny." She slid her hands under his tweed and the Doctor was once again hard pressed to remember that the Ponds were present as River stripped it off of him.

 

_Honey bunny?_ He raised his eyebrows in silent reproach while River just stared him down in a way that made him feel rather exposed. "I should probably just get undressed - er, dressed - er, change, that is. I'm sure there's a rabbit suit somewhere. Though it's dreadfully hot - er - the temperature! - I wonder if I could increase the thermal venting if I-" He was going to pull away. He was - in just a second.

 

River grinned and retreated, leaving the Doctor breathless and distinctly uncomfortable as she cut off his rambling. "No need, Doctor." She reached into her purple handbag, moved what looked to be a frying pan, and withdrew a spectacular set of bunny ears, which she settled gleefully atop his head. "There. You'll do." River never did anything by halves.

 

River's hand tweaked his bowtie fondly as she withdrew.

 

Amy was snickering and Rory was trying to look anywhere but at River and the Doctor.

 

There was an awkward moment as the Doctor busied himself with the console, unable to keep his eyes away from River but already turning flushed with embarrassment at the idea of being caught out staring by the Ponds. River merely lounged in the jumpseat, crossing her legs in a way that revealed even more skin and had the Doctor wanting to bang his head against the console. His hands shook on the controls.

 

Rory finally managed, "How's that fair? The Doctor doesn't have to change, as usual, and I come off looking ridiculous. If I had to wear a dress, why couldn't I have been the pharaoh, at least?"

 

Amy and River seemed to be enjoying their obvious discomfort. Amy batted Rory's hand away from where he was fidgeting with his costume, and then bumped hips with him fondly as she explained, "Because Nefertiti didn't actually like her husband. Besides, you make such a fetching slave."

 

"It's true," the Doctor's voice squeaked this time. Even his vocal cords couldn't be trusted when River was around. They all turned to stare at him, so he cleared his throat and tried again. "Neffi really wasn't that fond of old Akhenaten in the end."

 

River arched one eyebrow. "Know that from personal experience, Doctor?"

 

He bristled under her knowing look. It was Elizabeth all over again. And Marilyn. Honestly, humans got married at a drop of a hat. He was bound to get dragged into the fray here and there. At least he'd never shared hot chocolate with Nefertiti. "Oi - Neffi is just a friend."

 

"Bless," River rolled her eyes as she stood and crossed back to the console to take over for him. Admittedly - not that he intended to admit it - he was a bit too distracted to focus on driving. If they crashed, it was absolutely, completely River's fault. "You can be quite oblivious, sweetie."

 

"I notice plenty. I'm just... selective with my attention," the Doctor countered, letting his gaze slide openly across River as they landed. She was impossible not to notice, really. How could his attention be on anyone else? He'd all but forgotten his point. That happened more than he cared to admit around River.

 

"Right," Rory jumped in, "so we're here? Are we here? Because suddenly I'm really feeling the need to be outside, in public, where there are people around. Loads of people..."

 

River grinned at the Doctor, brushing by him as she moved toward her parents, just close enough that a shiver raced through him at the heat of her skin, hips swaying and dress clinging to her curves. "Mmm. I parked her just inside the coatroom. Shall we?"

 

Amy looped her arms through Rory and River's, amused. "Oh, absolutely. I want to go dancing."

 

The Doctor nearly fell down the console steps in his hurry to catch them up. They'd already made it out of the TARDIS and through the various furs hanging in the wardrobe before he did.

 

The party was loud and busy, people darting about in various stages of intoxication and fancy dress.

 

There was already a sizeable crowd gathering around River, who had shook off her parents and was laughing at her multitudes of admirers.

 

"Do you sing?" one breathed, practically quivering with hope.

 

"Oh, I know all the best notes," River practically purred, teasing effortlessly.

 

Another brave soul managed, "Have you come alone tonight then, Jessica? No Roger to weigh you down?" He snorted mockingly.

Rory looked as though he were wishing he'd worn his Roman attire, off to the side and distracted fending off Amy's own set of fans.

 

The Doctor pushed through the crowd bullishly, settling his hand possessively at the small of River's back and stroking his thumb across the bare skin there. "Actually, I'm right here." He tweaked one rabbit ear obviously and set his jaw.

 

With an exaggerated wink, River tucked herself into his side, one gloved hand coming up to trace his bowtie. "Roger, darling! Sorry boys and girls, I think my husband _wants_ me."

 

It sounded positively lewd when she said it like that. She also wasn't wrong. The Doctor blushed, clearing his throat and glaring at the crowd for good measure. "Yes, well. I do believe something was said about dancing."

 

He steered River away from her disappointed admirers and toward the dance floor, where Amy and Rory were already waiting.

 

Hip pressed against his, River leant close to whisper in his ear, "I do love it when you get jealous, sweetie."

 

He huffed. "I wasn't jealous. It's just - they were practically pawing at you - it was rude."

 

Her laugher tickled through him like bubbles of hydrogen in a fizzy drink or half-forgotten memories of champagne. "True. I'd much rather have you pawing at me, and it would be very rude, indeed."

 

But they had reached her parents and River withdrew, promise dripping from her every movement.

  
The Doctor struggled to remember that they were in public, with her parents around, and that he absolutely could not just let River drag him back to the TARDIS. She was going to be the death of him. Again.

 

It was that dress. He couldn't think with River in that dress. Well - he could - but all his thoughts revolved around how to get her out of it.

 

Amy and River were laughing conspiratorially by the time he'd pulled himself together enough to pay attention to their conversation.

 

"Maybe we should just dance and leave the boys to their own devices," Amy was suggesting skeptically, even though dancing had been her idea in the first place. "Rory might do all right, I suppose, but I have no desire to ever see the drunken giraffe dance again."

 

"Oi!" he and Rory protested simultaneously.

 

But River was already shaking her head, her straightened hair sliding enticingly across the well-toned muscles of her back with the movement. "Bless. The Doctor can dance though, you'll see."

 

She slipped her hand in his and the Doctor let his other curl around her impossibly tiny waist, his palm resting over the jewels of her dress and his fingertips tracing across her skin in time with the slow, jazzy beat of the music. He forgot all about Amy's lack of faith and River's crowd of devotees as soon as they started dancing, twirling around to the music with River leading effortlessly, her other hand resting warm and satin-coated at his neck.

 

He loved dancing with River.

 

She made him graceful when they moved together, whether running or dancing or... well, she made him a better man, certainly. She made him want to impress her, always. To sweep her off her feet and take her breath away as surely as she always stole his.

 

They moved slowly, befitting the heavy, smoky notes. River widened her stance until his leg slotted between hers, her freed leg twined around his to inch herself even closer.

 

Ducking his head, the Doctor let his voice lower, chiding her softly, "River," she twisted her hips with the music, guiding him along, her hand sliding down to rest hot against his lower back. "Your gun is in the way."

 

Laughing, River ran her lips over the Doctor's ear, and he couldn't suppress a shiver. "Then move it." She caught his hand from her waist and slid it down her bare thigh to rest over the stark purple strap.

 

A choked coughing sound issued from their right, and the Doctor turned to find that Rory and Amy had stopped dancing and were staring at them.

 

With a yelp, the Doctor yanked his hand away from River's thigh and tried to put some distance between them. Not too much though, or there would be other obvious… problems…

 

River just tucked herself against the Doctor only slightly more discretely, resting her hand on his collar so he couldn't pull away and turning curiously to face her parents.

 

Rory scrubbed a hand over his face and sighed heavily, not quite looking at them. "I was gonna be the cool dad," he lamented, and Amy patted his shoulder sympathetically. "Look, I know you two are married, but do you have to be quite so _blatant_?"

 

"This is not River blatant," the Doctor corrected before he could think better of it. He clapped his free hand over his mouth before he could elaborate on that thought.

 

River laughed again, not even slightly embarrassed. "It's really not," she agreed blithely. "And we are not going to have this discussion - or have you forgotten just how much I put up with from you and Mum when I was Mels? All those games of truth or dare-"

 

Rory paled, and the Doctor thought that they often did forget. They hadn't known, then, that the best friend they confided all their secrets to was really their daughter. River absolutely did it on purpose though, and while he couldn't exactly blame her for misbehaving a bit, she should probably take some pity on them. For one thing, Rory did own a sword, and it was the Doctor who was afraid of it.

 

Amy cut in quickly, "We'll just take ourselves somewhere… else… that is far away from the TARDIS… for at least the next hour, I think."

 

"Two," River countered, while the Doctor and Rory were still gaping in horror and trying not to look the other in the eye.

 

Amy appeared torn between being proud and horrified as River winked. "Two," she agreed, grabbing Rory's sleeve and dragging him with her as she retreated farther into the throng of dancers and partygoers, berating him loudly as they went. "Oi, c'mon Stupid Face, I want a drink. Or several. Definitely several. See what happens when you get all weird?"

 

"Did you have to do that?" the Doctor asked, fidgeting awkwardly under River's grasp.

 

Looking perfectly smug, River just looped her arms around the Doctor's neck, pressing her body flush against his in the process. "Shut up and take me back to the TARDIS, husband. Or shall I be _blatant_?"

 

He had to admit, he couldn't think of a single argument against that plan. Of course, it was hard to think at all, especially when his hands settled at River's bare back and she shivered as his fingertips stroked her skin.

 

River's tongue darted out across her ruby red lips and he was gone, his eyes following the movement until he had to bend his head and cover her lips with his own. River wiggled eagerly into him, her mouth opening under his with a needy sigh and her tongue thrusting against his.

 

The Doctor groaned, low and desperate, caught up in the heady taste of River Song, all gunpowder and champagne and infinities.

 

A wolf-whistle broke them apart. They were still in the middle of the dance floor, and River's crowd of admirers had yet to completely disperse. The Doctor started, attempting to pull back, while River licked her swollen lips and laughed, low and sinful.

 

The Doctor was hard pressed to release her long enough for them to stumble back to the coatroom and into the TARDIS, but the thought of actually getting River alone proved to be potent motivation. Even if she was being anything but helpful, the distracting minx.

 

They stumbled across the threshold and let the door fall shut behind them, already tangled up in one another again. River stole his rabbit ears deftly, perching them on her own head with a challenging smirk. Mrs. Rabbit, indeed.

 

The Doctor pushed River back against the closed door, his hands tracing the edges of her impossible gown as he tried to figure out how to best get her out of it. How did it stay on? Oh - some sort of molecular glue, maybe? The trick then would be to get the bonds to release...

 

"Sweetie," River warned, twisting wantonly in his grasp as his hands and mouth traced along her exposed cleavage. There was rather a lot to work with already.

 

He mumbled a response with his teeth against her flesh, nipping just along the outline of her bodice. He spared one hand from the mysteries of her gown to explore the infinite mysteries of River, his fingers sneaking under the slit in her dress to walk high across her inner thigh, mindful of the blaster strapped lower.

 

River made an encouraging noise, sinking down against the door to spread her legs wider, her hands gripping his shoulders and her complaint apparently tabled.

 

The Doctor let his fingers trail higher, caressing the sensitive satiny skin just at the crease of her thigh.

 

No knickers.

 

River's hands tangled in his hair, insistent, until he straightened enough to kiss her properly, his fingers brushing through damp, wiry curls as his other hand palmed her ruby-encrusted breasts in turn.

 

With a growl, River pushed off the door and propelled them backwards, her teeth and tongue demanding over his lips.

 

They stumbled through the TARDIS, the Doctor's blind clumsiness overpowering River's usual grace, unwilling to part long enough to look where they were going. Not that either of them needed to - they could navigate the TARDIS blindfolded. Which had been quite a night, indeed.

 

The Doctor caught his boot on the back of the third stair, tripping and bringing them both down, sprawled halfway up to the console. The pain of the stairs biting into his back hardly mattered when it meant River was lying across him, all those luscious curves pressed into him. The Doctor wiggled his hand out from between them to grip River's bottom and drag her closer, until something hard and metallic dug into his thigh.

 

"Your gun is _still_ in the way."

 

River smirked, running the metal up and down his thigh with no shame. "Can't handle the competition?"

 

"Hardly competition," the Doctor snorted derisively, ignoring the fission of lust that her words sparked. There wasn't time to do anything about it though before River was hauling them both up by her grip on the railing. She pinned him promptly against it, breaking their kisses and banter to undo his bowtie with her teeth.

 

The Doctor swallowed hard, her sharp teeth scraping purposefully across his Adam's apple as she worked the knot loose.

 

When River pulled back, still steadying them both on the rail, the wicked promise in her eyes sent heat racing across the Doctor's body.

 

He was frozen and pliant against her as she lifted her bared leg to hook her heel over the lowest rung of the railing. River twisted her suspender until her blaster was exposed and very deliberately reached down to retie his bowtie around the sturdy purple belt.

 

Watching her with heavy-lidded eyes, the Doctor swallowed to clear his dry throat and managed, "Another notch for your bedpost?"

 

"Mmm," now that the gun was out of the way, River leant forward until she was pressed very intimately against him. "I have hundreds." The Doctor stiffened against her and River laughed, low and sultry. "All bowties."

 

The Doctor growled, his hands squeezing her rear and dragging her even closer, until she tottered slightly and had to grip the rail and him to keep her balance. "My bad girl."

 

He swept her lips into another kiss, slouching against the rail until their bodies slotted perfectly together. River rolled her hips slowly against his, the rubies of her dress digging into his palms and rough even through his clothing.

 

He swept his thumbs across her spine and River trembled, her teeth tugging at his lower lip. By the suns and moons of Gallifrey, they'd barely made it halfway into the TARDIS and now the Doctor feared they wouldn't even make it out of their clothing. Not if River kept moving her hips like that, grinding up against him in a way that left him gasping against her mouth and straining against his trousers.

 

The Doctor shifted to slide one arm under River's thigh, his hand snaking under the dress to grip one of her bare cheeks. Her dress was certainly more amenable if he went underneath.

 

Grinning, the Doctor dropped to his knees, ducking under the sweep of River's gown and nudging his head between her thighs.

 

The flesh there was wet and hot and quivering under his mouth. He lapped her taste up eagerly, spreading her folds with his tongue, his nose nudging just over her clit. She tasted sharp and sweet at the same time, a metallic tang lingering from her gun resting so near. River: concentrated.

 

One hand stroked low across River's spine, conveniently bare to his touch, running his fingers over that sensitive spot that always left her trembling in his arms. River arched into him with a muffled curse and the Doctor grinned into her skin, tightening his grip on her to help her balance.

 

He could spend hours between her thighs - had on more occasions than he could quickly count - but perhaps that was an indulgence better saved for when they actually made it to their bed. River's balance was precarious and patience thin and that was never a combination to trifle with.

 

Stiffening his tongue, the Doctor thrust into her, licking across her trembling walls, soft, wet flesh over powerful muscles, all quivering at his touch.

 

He delved slowly deeper with every stroke, working her open with his mouth and letting the scent and feel of her engulf him until his head was spinning with her light and his breath huffed in quick, needy puffs over her clit.

 

River cursed low, the words spilling across her lips in dead and near-forgotten languages. Each word hard and sharp in her mouth - cracked and high at the end.

 

Shifting until his fingers could slip into her wetness, the Doctor slid his mouth up to tease at her clit. River moaned as he pressed two long fingers into her, curling them roughly up and thrusting fast with her curses, listening to their pitch and fervor.

 

The Doctor closed his lips over her clit, sucking hard with each thrust, and River broken open with a scream, her body clenching around his fingers desperately as the hot rush of her orgasm flooded over his hand.

 

He couldn't help the moan that escaped him, mouth still around her clit, and River's scream pitched to a ragged whimper, her body jumping under his touch.

 

Rocking back on his heels, the Doctor fought his way out from under River's dress, reluctantly parting from her tempting flesh long enough to let her haul him back up against the railing.

 

River was kissing him almost the instant he was standing, licking her own taste off his lips with a pleased hum. One hand still gripping the rail to keep her steady, River expertly began unbuttoning his shirt one-handed, her satin-coated fingers brushing teasingly over his ticklish skin and leaving gooseflesh in their wake.

 

The Doctor bought his hands around her to steady her again, only a bit smug. He dug his fingers into the soft flesh of her waist, just at the edge of her dress, leaving sticky marks against her skin with one hand as he slowly increased the pressure.

 

River's breath caught, her hand trembling over his buttons at his rougher touch, giving him a surprised _you dirty old man_ look.

 

The Doctor merely smirked, pressing harder, and then the tension eased as the molecular glue stretched taut past its threshold and snapped, leaving her dress gaping open at the sides. After that, it was merely a matter of running his thumbs under the edge of her dress, brushing across all that delectable hidden skin as he went, and the top of her dress fell away easily, finally revealing her glorious, pert breasts, dusky nipples peaked. "Much better," he mused, palming the heavy weight of River's breasts and licking his lips.

 

"Turnabout is fair play," River challenged, though she sounded impressed even as she finished opening his shirt and undid his trousers in a wickedly fast, well-practiced movement.

 

Her satin-gloved hand closed around his cock, drawing him out of his trousers and pants, and it was the Doctor's turn to shiver, whimpering under her silky touch. The Doctor gave up struggling with his cuffs and just left his shirt hanging open. " _River..._ "

 

He hurried to drag her dress up her hips and out of the way while River stroked him leisurely in a way that sent his eyes rolling back into his head. The Doctor gripped her bum under her dress to steady them, one arm under her thigh, as he slouched against the railing and let her guide him to her. It was a bit of a tricky position, but River always had enjoyed a challenge and between her strength and agility, they managed. The Doctor's head dropped to River's chest as he finally slid into her, her free hand moving to wrap around his back for balance.

 

The rubies sewn into her dress scraped across his abdomen as they moved, slow and deep, leaving them both gasping and keening. River's thigh trembled over his arm as she arched up on one tiptoe, fingers digging into his shoulder for leverage.

 

Her dress was still in the way, but he couldn't be bothered to move it, too distracted by running his mouth across the perfectly smooth skin of her breasts. The Doctor took his time to properly lavish each with attention, his tongue swirling around each nipple in turn and his teeth just nipping hard enough across her skin for River to moan and clench him tighter.

 

They moved faster together, the bite of the rubies scraped against his skin sharp and unpleasant as her dress slipped out of his grasp, threatening sensitive parts. The Doctor fought back a curse - River was a terrible influence - and growled, "Arms up."

 

River's eyes were unfocused with pleasure when he raised his head from her breasts - flushed pleasantly red from his ministrations. "Hmm?"

 

He thrust a bit sharply, squeezing her bum to get her attention and nearly overbalancing them in the process, which didn't exactly help his case. "Arms. Up."

 

River regarded him a bit dubiously but nodded, loosening her grip around his neck slowly. They stilled their bodies as she lifted her arms, and the Doctor took the opportunity to hurriedly maneuver her dress up and over her head. The rubies caught on her curls and the Doctor winced as he carefully untangled her hair and tossed the gown away, the rabbit ears getting lost in the process.

 

There wasn't much time to appreciate River's naked form - all taut muscles and golden skin, marked dark over her waist and beasts from his hands and mouth. The second she was free, River regained her grip on the rail and the Doctor, pressing all that bare skin eagerly into him. "Move, sweetie."

 

Her words jolted him out of the stupor that a naked River always lapsed him into, and the Doctor hurried to bring his arm back under her thigh to tug her even closer, lifting River onto tiptoe again and thrusting hard up into her.

 

River's grip was firm, and she used the Doctor as leverage to lift herself in counterpoint to his thrusts, their bodies picking up speed, driven on by the urgent thread of bliss building between them.

 

The Doctor dropped his head back to River's breasts, bobbing enticingly with their movements, using his grip on her bottom to drag her even closer, until her clit ground against him and he could hear her breath hitch.

 

There wasn't any room for words as they both gasped for air, bodies slick and taut with exertion and the coil of pleasure that wound tighter with each thrust. The Doctor fought for control over his body, arching up desperately into River and closing his teeth around her breast to muffle a shout. River's sharp inhale formed into a scream and then they were both shaking apart and coming together, bodies clutching desperately and the railing the only thing keeping them standing.

 

After a long moment to regain their bearings, even that wasn't enough. Regretfully sliding from the warmth of River's body, the Doctor dropped bonelessly to land with a thump against the cool TARDIS floor, resting half against the railing, River settling more gracefully next to him a second later. They shifted until they were sprawled out completely, their heads just below the first step, with River curled neatly into his side and his shirt caught between them. The TARDIS air was cool against their overexerted bodies, sweat already drying over their heated skin.

 

The Doctor ran his fingers through River's sweat-dampened hair - curls springing up to cling and grip his fingers as though at a sense memory to his touch.

 

"Bed?" River suggested, voice a low, scratchy purr as she toed off her heels and twined one leg over his, wiggling her toes and poking them into his calf.

 

The Doctor considered the effort required to detangle himself from his trousers and boots and shook his head, eyes sliding shut. "Not until I can feel my legs again," he admitted, a bit sheepish but a bit proud - he doubted River was very steady on her feet at the moment either.

 

"Then it's going to be quite a while," River laughed, her satin-soft fingertips tracing across his chest in purposeful, absolutely filthy, loops of Gallifreyan that flushed his body red and sent his only-just calmed hearts racing to keep up with her.

 

Turning his head, the Doctor sought out River's lips with his own, kissing her languid and deep in agreement.

 

...

 

 

River was tucked into his arms as they swung gently, listening to the soothing lullaby of the TARDIS, stronger here by her heart.

 

They were half asleep when the TARDIS door creaked open and Rory and Amy's footsteps trekked in.

 

Had it been two hours already? They'd almost made it to their bedroom, hidden behind a secret door on this level, where they could always hear the TARDIS sing. But the old girl's voice was stronger out here and the swing was sturdy enough to hold them both and somehow this was as far as they'd managed.

 

The Doctor carded his hand through River's dark red hair, already mostly curly again from their exertion, watching the strands slide and wrap around his fingers. River hummed, her breath tickling across his neck, and he thought she really was just about asleep. He loved these quiet moments with his wife, not that he would ever admit to it. He loved the running and the danger and how sexy she was wielding a gun too, of course, far more than he should have. But it was a rare treat to sit with a sleepy River warm in his arms, too content to slap his hand away from her hair.

 

The footsteps halted above them.

 

"The floors are made of glass, you know. We can see you. Far, far too much of you."

 

The Doctor yelped, jerking to look up and nearly falling backwards off of the swing. River caught him by his collar and kept them both from ending up sprawled on the floor. He did forget, sometimes, that the floors were glass. Especially when River was curled up around him and it was hard to remember anything but her. "I - that's - we were just -"

 

Amy appeared, a little unsteadily, next to Rory, peering down at them and making an unimpressed face. "You were just naked on a swing with my daughter." Her accent was more Scottish when she drank and when she was angry, and it was hard to tell which this was.

 

River laughed, burying her head back into the Doctor's neck to hide it. Really, though, it looked much worse than it was from their angle. They were hardly naked. "We're not - that is - I'm really practically almost fully dressed and River - well -"

 

"No." Amy cut him off in a tone that brooked no argument. "I'm not talking to you when you're only _almost_ fully dressed, Raggedy Man. It's... weird... Rory and I are going to bed, in our room, where we will stay for the rest of the night."

 

Rory sighed, hands still over his eyes, and let Amy drag him away. "Please keep in mind, I do still have a sword."

 

There was a whap as Amy smacked him and Rory yelped. "Oh, don't you even start. We all know you have a sword. And River has a gun. What do you think she's going to do to you if you keep threatening her husband? Would you rather they were fighting? Or off on some unnecessarily dangerous adventure?"

 

"I - that's not - I just-"

 

"You were just being stupid."

 

They trailed off as they exited the console room, River still muffling her laughter into his chest. As usual, not in the slightest bit embarrassed.

 

Thinking of the mess of clothing scattered across the console floor, the Doctor sighed. "We should get cleaned up. Your parents-"

 

"Have gone to bed," River pointed out, shifting on his lap until she was straddling him, her knees pressed tight against his hips. She bent to capture his protesting lips in a slow but needy kiss, cutting off his objections with remarkable effectiveness.

 

As the swing shifted with their motions and the Doctor's hands settled naturally at River's waist to steady her, the Doctor decided that, as usual, River was right. After all, they had the whole night to make it to their own bed.

**Author's Note:**

> I strongly suggest you re-watch Who Framed Roger Rabbit and have a fabulous laugh at the parallels. For example, this gem:
> 
> _Jessica Rabbit: From the looks of it I'd say it was Roger. My honey bunny was never very good behind the wheel._
> 
> _Eddie Valiant: Better lover than a driver, huh?_
> 
> _Jessica Rabbit: You'd better believe it, buster._
> 
> And:
> 
> _Roger Rabbit: A laugh can be a very powerful thing. Why, sometimes in life, it's the only weapon we have._
> 
> P.S. I'll give my firstborn (or a fic or y'know, something less drastic) to anyone who feels the urge to draw Jessica!River!! Seriously? Pretty please with River on top?


End file.
